Straight No Chaser Ringtones

Hooray it's Christmastime But there's one lousy tradition There's a certain show that we will see That is old and many would agree It is time to find another show to substitute for the Nutcracker I'm watching the game but something's wrong Staring is my wife her face looks long I know that look it must be me It's not our anniversary I shrug, no clue. "What did I do?" She stands in disbelief WHAT? This holiday scene brings no laughter Forced going to see the Nutcracker I tried to block it from my mind Think fast! What reason can I find? Got work to do I'll fake the flu No chance, I'm done, I'm screwed NO! I've seen the Nutcracker twenty times. Sure it is fun if you are four. BUM! Don't call me a Scrooge cause it's a bore. The story's dated and that mouse-king-thing freaks me out! Well, guess I'm a guy what can I say I'd rather watch football than ballet I try my hardest not to grown And pull the score up on my phone As I complain, "It's not the same." We're rushing out the door GO! All holiday shoppers on the road My holiday spirit might explode Of course there is no place to park We're late the theater's in the dark In no small feat We find a seat The show's about to start. SHH! Here's that song from Tetris And I know it's the part when I fight Not to fall asleep March the wooden soldiers Bunch of mice start a fight Land of sweets Man this stuff's trippy. By the way this story makes no sense Still don't know What it means After all these years So confusing Feel like snoozing Eyes are heavy As I start to dream... Whoa I'm awake must've fallen asleep guess I didn't snore or make a peep Cause my wife had no clue I'd been out-cold Is the finale coming up because there is no beer left in my cup To make it through I'll need another drink Snuck out to the lobby Oh look I found a TV I forgot the game was happening It's down to the wire Time will soon expire Down by one this kick would win it HUT-HUT! The ball's snapped OH NO! The kick's bad RIGHT RIGHT! No, we lost! NO! How could this night get any worse? Now I'm feeling all depressed But I still have to act impressed A pirouette oh wow that's great a six year-old could do that too Saw my team lose at the bar Now dancing dudes in leotards Last Nutcracker hopefully But my wife's thinking differently She leans in closely, whispers softly Can't wait for you to take me next year.

Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (bass bass) Yeah it's pretty clear I aint no tenor too But I can make you move, like i'm suposed to do 'Cause I got that boom boom that all the girls chase And all the low notes in all the right places I hear those tenors screamin' Tryin' to reach the top Sound like a bunch of girls Come on now (Make it stop) If you like bass (bass)? Ev'ry octave that I sing is perfect, bottom to the top Yeah, my momma, she told me Don't worry about those tenor guys She said girls like a low voice to whisper in their ear at night No, I won't be no pop star, no rock star But I'll do just fine So if that's what you're into, then go ahead and waste your time Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (bass bass) (I'm bringin' bass back) Don't those tenors sound like shrieking cats? They think their all that But ev'ry note that I will hit is perfect, bottom to the top Yeah, my momma, she told me Don't worry about them baritones She said they sing the same three notes, and never get solos And I will not back down to the vocal percussion guy 'Cause all you need is this bass? to get you through the night Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (bass bass) Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (bass bass) Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (No tenors) I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass (bass bass)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Aa-ah, ooh Christmas, Christmas time is here And Christmas songs you love to hear Thoughts of joy and hope and cheer But mostly shopping, shopping, shopping Christmas, Christmas time is here The sleigh bells and the red-nosed deer Songs and songs we love to hear All played a thousand times each year Heard this same song twenty times And it's only Halloween (Joy to the world, jingle bells, jingle bells) (I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas day on Christmas day) Christmas, Christmas time is here (Hark the herald angels sing) And Christmas songs you love to hear (Joy to the world) Thoughts of joy and hope and cheer But mostly shopping, shopping, shopping Christmas season Starting sooner every year It's October Stores with plastic Christmas trees Ransack the mall Shop until you lose your mind Spike the eggnog Sit back and watch Rudolph, Frosty, Tiny Tim And Scrooge, the Grinch, or Charlie Brown It's time Hey It's time to do the Christmas can-can If you can't, can't dance, well, that's okay (not going to do the kick line) All you need is a tree, some lights, about a thousand presents Wrap them up and pray for snow, oh Run to your closet Find your Christmas sweater Screaming carols all the way (fa-la-la-la-la-la-la) Maine all the way to California, it's the Christmas can-can Halloween to Christmas day It's the most wonderful time of year We're running mad with Christmas cheer Hey, what's troubling you, my friend? It's not fair if you're Jewish, Jewish (not fair if you're Jewish, Jewish) Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel I made it out of clay You realize that Christmas ain't the only holiday, oye Hey, he's right who made these laws? Look! Wait, here comes Santa Claus Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus (Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa) (Guys? Guys!) Hey, Santa do the can-can Help them if you can-can join in the parade (I'm gonna go grab some Chinese food) All you need is a tree, some lights, about a thousand presents Wrap them up and pray for snow, ho Run to your closet find your Christmas sweater Screaming carols all the way (fa-la-la-la-la-la-la) France all the way to Indiana It's the Christmas can-can That's the end Wait for our ending We should share this holiday Hava Nagila, Happy Hanukkah to you A Happy Hanukkah to you, a Happy Hanukkah to you A Merry Christmas, Hanukkah and also Kwanzaa Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Merry Kwanzaa too Ho

The moon is right The spirit's up We're here tonight And that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmastime The party's on The feeling's here That only comes This time of year Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Simply having a wonderful Christmastime The choir of children sing their song The word is out About the town To lift a glass Ah, and don't look down Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Simply having a wonderful Christmastime The party is on The feeling is here That only comes this time of year We're here tonight and that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Simply having a wonderful Christmastime. The party's on The spirit's up We're here tonight And that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Simply having a wonderful Christmastime The choir of children sing their song They practiced all year long The moon is right The spirit's up We're here tonight Oh and that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Simply having a wonderful Christmastime Ooh... Christmas Ooh... Wonderful Christmastime Ooh... Christmas Ooh... Wonderful Christmastime